Momma losed her glasses this mornin' acause when she been blowin' up her hair dry, I thunk them glasses beed a boomerang. On accident. So when she axed me does I knows where they is, I sayed, did ya check ahind yous nightie table, Momma? They mighta felled offa there. Then I runned and gotted them outta the tree what grows inside a the house and I hided them in her shoe. Now when Momma puts her shoes on, she gonna say, I's such a idiot! I forgotted what I putted my glasses in my shoe. And then everthin' will be OK. Peoples shouldn't oughta make glasses what looks like boomerangs. It bees confusin'.

So Grammy bees havin' her poker girls over tonight, and Grampy sayed, Maisy, I hopes that mongrel Margaret-Mae ain't comin', she bees a cougar. Which, she ain't. She bees a mongrel, mostly Collie, and I likes her. She says I bees her Georgia Peach. And she says the Angels stirred handsome and smart alls up in a big pot and out comed me! When I gets her beers for her she says, thanks you, Peachy. If she beed a cougar, she'd a beed chasin' me up a tree, and sides, Grammy says Grampy bees so blind he couldn't tell no cougar from a ditch-pig any ole how.

So at Sunday School today Mrs. Pearson been teachin' us 'bout what a good father Father God bees; and I sayed, I gots a baby what I loves, too. Then stupid ole Clive hadda holler on all the whole room, George, you been nertralized. Yous never even gonna be a father. It looks like you gots a velvet change purse danglin' off yous hiney; does you keep yous bus money in there? So I sayed real loud, yeah, well, stupid Clive, yous never gonna be no Bassett Hound, neither. Then everbody just beed quiet and stared. Ha.

Ever sometimes I bees awake and I bees asleepin' all together on a same time. Momma says that bees called day streamin', and when I bees day streamin'; I doesn't knows what all I bees doin' acause I gots a movie playin' inside a my head. Which, today when I beed watchin'a day stream, I eated Momma's bra on accident. This is a ungraceful mess, George, Momma screamed all squeakyish. I can't wear this disgustin' thing no more, it looks horrible. And I thunk, maybe I done a good thing if my Momma been playin' fancy-dance patty-cake all over the town showin' off her bra. She shoulda knowed better.

DEAR GEORGE

HELPERS FOR MAKIN'

BETTER PETS OUTTA OUR PEOPLE

 

Dear George,
     I hope you can help me in a hurry. We are having company this weekend, and the Missus insists on bringing her two Yorkies; Leather and Lace. They stick their pointy little noses in my food and water, they sink their pointy little teeth into all my toys, and my Momma just thinks that they're the cutest little things. Whenever they're around, my Momma is constantly telling me to be nice, and she's blind to all the trouble that they cause. What can I do?
Bernadette Bouvier

Dear Bernadette,
     I often lotsa times heared my Momma sayin' size do matter; and Leather and Lace bees zactly the reason why. You's a big girl, Bernadette! Own yous big black beauty. This is what I wants you to do: you sit aside yous Momma in fronta everbody and snarl like as if you gots a bumble bee up yous nose. Then yous Momma gonna be thinkin', look at my good, big girl protectin' me. After that, when there bees nobody lookin', step on one a them brats. That oughta do it.
George



YOWSER DOWSER PIDDLY POWSER

I GOTTED MY FIRST CHRISTMAS CARD EVER!

True story

Today I been a reindeer and I beed all dashin' in the snow on Momma's bed and it beed funner and funner atil the terrible thing happened. I taked one big jump for to lead the sleigh tonight, and guess what? I flewed for real! 'Cept I flewed right into the wall and I losed my conscience. When I waked up, Momma sayed, George, does you knows what day is it? And I sayed, no, Momma, I's a Boxer Dog. But there been a silver cloud in the snowstorm, acause my goofy eye goed straight for a few minutes. And I hadded a red nose like Rudolph. But it goed black again when it quitted bleedin'.

Me and Grampy beed makin' pranks at the donut shop drive-thru today. Grampy beed apposed to sneak on cars and jump and say WOOF, and the peoples beed apposed to say YIKES and drop thems donuts, and I beed apposed to grab theys goodies and run run run. But Grampy bees pretty near blind. He jumped horse-hard headways into a garbage can. Which, then I beed the one what sayed YIKES. And then a big mad donut lady comed and chased us off with a stick. When we gotted home, Momma sayed, where's you fellas been? Yous smells like garbage cans. And me and Grampy looked at each nother and sayed, I doesn't know.

2 IDEAS I GOTS FOR MY CHRISTMAS LIST SO FAR

AND THEN ANOTHER ONE

1. Furry slippers big lady size so Momma can get 'em started for me
2. A motorcycle jacket
3. I really really wants a beagle puppy

 

Please don't dare say nothin' to Momma 'bout the puppy, she don't know.

Scabby Doyle beed mean at me today acause he bees tryin a keep Clive all to hisself. He sayed, go away, George, else I's gonna stick yous head in a fishin' tank fulla pianos. So I goed away. And I tole Momma on him. But she laughed and sayed, oh, Georgie, I thinks Scabby means a fishtank fulla piranha. They's fresh-eatin fish; meanin' they eats peoples to deaf. Which, that ain't nothin' for to laugh about. I just thunk, is mine own Momma gonna tell Scabby a better fish than pianos for eatin' my head off? I's mad on everbody.

Me and Clive and Scabby Doyle been havin' shenanigans at Sunday School today. Mrs. Pearson tole us alls 'bout a man what bees called Noahzark, and hims boatload a animals what comed in two-on-two. We thunk it beed soo funny, and we was oinkin' and mooin' and makin' all kinda animal voices. Then Mrs. Pearson sayed, that bees quite enough Tom Foolery; all maddy talkin'. So then we beed laughin like HEE-HA-HA, all over the place acause they ain't even no Tom in the class! We hadda go three-on-three out in the hallway. Which, a least it weren't only me this time.

So Momma catched me eatin' a plate a butter today and she sayed mean things like gross and disgustin' when she beed wipin' my face with a smelly rag. Which, that ain't a very proper way to talk at a young doggie. I sayed, please don't judge and condom me on this one foolish mishap, Momma. I is much more than this plate a butter. So much more. I loves you, Momma. JUST kiddin'. I heared stuff like that on Oprah, is all. I just letted her yell. I prawly won't get no liver snaps for a few days.

VERY LOTSA DIFFERENT KINDS A COCK

ALL PUTTED TOGETHER IN A RUN-ON SENTENCE 

 

That COCKy COCKer spaniel COCKED hims ears when he heared me comin', then he COCKED him's COCK-eyed eye on me an' I sayed COCK-a-doodle-doo on you, Kenneth you's nothin' but a half-COCKed COCKer fulla COCK 'n bull.

I maked a idea for to be Momma's Little Helper today and have her slippers all cozy at the door for her when she gotted home. But some kinda things goed wrong on me. When I picked up them slippers, my mouth sayed, hey, I thinks I gots a jack rabbit in here. Then my nose sayed, I thinks I smells a forest critter. And my brain tole everthin', I thinks I's apposed to be Momma's Little Hunter. Next thing I knows, them bunnies is lookin' like a family a mouses. Which, I hadda hide 'em in the couch. Now Momma bees sayin' she gots to be losin' her marble acause she can't find them dang slippers. So I tole her, don't worry, Momma, I's gonna be here an save you if you sets yous hair on fire.

Clive tole me that today bees HUMP day, and he laughed like as if it beed sooo funny. I sayed, maybe that bees funny if you is a camel, Clive, but I doesn't get it. So then he called me a stupid camel's toe. Which, that did be funny on me acause I never thunk about callin' nobody a toe afore. When Momma comed home from work I beed a joker on her and I sayed, how was yous hump today, Mrs. Camel Toe? And she twisted on my ear atill I sayed yelp.

Grammy gotted all dillied up for to look for a job today, but she comed home madder an a three-legged goat covered in horseflies. That bald-headed people-breath ole man at Freeder's Breeders tole me I's too ole for puppy-makin', she sayed. So I tole that so an so what's what. I sayed I hasn't never seen Freeder's Breeders in no Book A Who's Who; so when you bees runnin' willy nilly hither an tither lookin' for a bitch with a little somethin' somethin'; don't you be barkin' on my tree. And I ain't whisperin' pixie, neither. I tole Grammy Bob what she maked me proud. I sayed she gots a fur-lined tongue. Then Grammy sayed, George, go axe your Momma if she gots any gin.

We's havin' a Christmas party at the Obee Dance School, and everbody bees makin' treats for to bring. Momma sayed, I's gonna make you some nice cupcakes, Georgie. But I sayed, no, Momma, I wants to make mine own treats. They's gonna be Doggie-Style treats. Momma sayed, how's about we makes a nice Puppy-Type gingerbread house? I gots it! I sayed, I's gonna make a Boner-House! Then Grammy Bob sayed she would love to live in a Boner-House. Momma tole her, shut your yap, Maisy. Which, that weren't very festive talk for Christmas cookin' time.

At Sunday School today Mrs. Pearson been teachin' us what we's all soldiers in the Army of the Lord. If we gots enimas, we oughta march on out there and kill 'em with kindness; she sayed that bees our weapon. So I been kind to Clive when he sayed, George, may I has that milk-bone yous eatin'? I sayed, why, sure, Clive; and I gived it to him. But then when I axed Clive, may I has my milk-bone back now? He sayed no. Now I bees thinkin' on lookin' for some kind thing to crack him over hims head with.

Today I thunk I will be a very fine store detective acause if everbody tries to put socks in they's pocket and steal 'em and they sees me watchin' 'em, they's only gonna think; my, oh my, what a cute little doggie. They's never gonna figure I's gonna jump on 'em and arrest 'em, specially acause I gots a disguise. But when me and Momma goed to the store today, a big man store detective grabbed on me and sayed, why is you wearin'a disguise, little doggie, is you tryin' to steal my milk bones? And then he hollered on the whole store, WILL GEORGE'S MOMMA PLEASE COME TO THE OFFICE! And Momma sayed, Lordy Gordy, George, I can't take you nowheres and she maked me wait in the car. So then I beed a excellent car detective after that.

6 FLOWER NAMES WHAT MAKES A RUDE SENTENCE TOGETHER

AND THEN I USES THEM IN A RUDE SENTENCE

1. Cockscorn
2. Scabiosa
3. Mum
4. Snapdragon
5. Sweet Pea
6. Star Gazer Lily

 

STAR GAZER LILY sayed, come 'ere, SWEET PEA; but I tole her if you thinks you is gonna get that SCABIOSA SNAPDRAGON a yours anywheres near my COCKSCORN, I's tellin' your MUM.

So I eated Momma's bedspread today and now it bees my bedspread acause I wrecked it so bad. I tole Momma it beed a accident, but she just kept sayin', GIT, GEORGE, GIT! And all's I been doin' was tryin' to help her pick up alla white stuff. Then she sayed, oh, George, why you gotta be such a MORON. Which, that was very wrong a her to say that. I ain't a moron. I's a Boxer. She even bees the one what tole me that. Now I gots to hopes I gets a new blanket for Christmas.

I beed kidnapped today. True. I just been havin' a nice little jaunt when I seed a man what looked like Police, and he beed callin', Here, Pooch! Here, Pooch! So I comed here acause I thunk I could help him find Pooch. Afore I knowed who's what, I beed flinged into the back of a van, and the bad man sayed, don't worry, boy, I's with the Human Society; we's gonna find your Momma. Lie. Momma weren't even lost, she beed sleepin'. He took me to his clubhouse what had all kinda kidnap animals locked up like a jail. Momma only sayed, fifty dollars bees a lotta money, George. (I guess she paid the ransom.) I doesn't know why she gots to be mad. She oughta call the real Police on them kidnappers. And somebody needs to warn Pooch real quick; he bees the one they's lookin'for.

Hell-o. I-bees-George-the-ro-bot-box-er-dog. Mo-mma-bees-mad-to-me-a-cause-I-used-up-all-a-tin-foil. Which-that-weren't-not-a-waste. She-sayed-sit-down-you-bad-boy. But-ev-er-since-I-beed-a-ro-bot-I-can't-sit-no-more-a-cause-my-legs-won't-fold-up. Mo-mma-sayed-this-don't-be-fun-ny-what-so-all-George. I-thunk-it-beed.

2 SETS A POETISH WORDS WHAT GOES TOGETHER

VERY NICE

AND THEN I USES THEM ALL IN ONE SENTENCE

1. Frumpy and Grumpy
2. Limpy and Gimpy

 

I sayed, hey Clive, look on that FRUMPY GRUMPY GIMPY ole girl walkin' LIMPY LIMPY over there; and Clive bited me acause it beed his Momma.

Ever sometimes Momma does broomin' on me and she brushes my furs all shiny smart. She says it belaxes me. 'Cept for today she brung out a baby broom and sticked it in my mouth and beed scratchin' away on my teeths. Which, that weren't belaxing at all. And, plus, my teeths ain't itchy. Hold still, George, she sayed, or else yous teeths is all gonna fall out like Grammy's done. Does you wannna hafta keep yous teeths in a water dish, too? I thunk that might not be so bad. A least she could broom on 'em any ole time and leave me alone.

Guess what I made Momma soo happy today acause she sayed, come, Georgie; and I comed right away smart, just like that! Her face blowed up all smiley and then she sayed, well, Georgie, roll me in sugar and call me a Jelly-Tot. Which, that bees disgustin'. Why in carnation would anybody wanna roll my big ole Momma in sugar for? And Jelly-Tots bees little dots. I been shakin' and shakin' my head tryin' to get these horrible pictures to fall out; but they's sticked in there real good. I's prawly gonna have nightmares tonight.

I tole Momma today what I wants to pierce my nipples, and she sayed that the Lord didn't give me no nipples for to be pokin' holes in 'em. But I tole her what the Lord sayed He don't mind when I beed dreamin' on Him last night. Momma sayed that she would lace me up like a hockey skate and tie me to a  stop sign if I beed stickin' any rings in my nipples. She sayed the Lord tole her she could. Which, I doubts that; but she would prawly do it anyhow.

So at Sunday School today, Mrs. Pearson hadda pair of underwears sticked on the sleeve of her sweater and everybody didn't wanna tell her. 'Cept when she been cleanin' the blackboard, I sayed, let me help you with that, Mrs. Pearson, I sees you gots a bum arm. Then alla kids laughed and laughed and I hadda go in the hall. Which, I weren't the one what beed dressed so rude.

So today, Dora the Explorer teached me that in Spanish, my name is WHORE-HEY. I likes the sound that makes. If I beed livin' somewhere's Spanishy, I could say to a cute curly-headed Spanish bitch; Whore-Hey at your service! I been thinkin' on that all day; and Momma keeps on askin'me, what's you all grinny about, George? And I just says, oh, nada.

So today I discovered what I gots amazin' gifty powers what means I's Psychotic. I all the time knows what Momma's gonna say afore she even says it. Like today, when I licked her tuna sandwich on accident... a magical thing happened. Momma's lips was movin', but I been sayin' all the words, too. George, don't do that! Git down! Then we sayed, don't be smart with me, young man. STOP IT! Then I sayed by myself, I ain't smart, Momma, I bees Psychotic! Then we sayed, go to your room. Now I gots a big feelin' that tomorrow's gonna be partly cloudy with a chance of rain.

I gots a monster in my closet what sneakers around with shiny eyes and ascares me all the nights. So I maked a very good trap on him with 1 sweater, 3 a Momma's shoes, 1 teared up pillow, and very lotsa hangers. But Momma goed and wrecked it acause she beed catched astead of the monster. She yelled, hells bells and buckets of blood, George! What in the earth was ya doin? So I tole her what was I doin, and she sayed theys no monster in there acause she ain't never seen no monster. I thunk; I ain't never seen Momma workin', but that don't means she don't do it ever sometime. But I never sayed which I thunk acause she beed tangled up in that trap pretty good.

Today I beed a airplane driver so I hadda put Momma's laundry in the garbage acause I needed the basket for to be my magic plane. When Momma goed to puttin' out the garbage she maked a hairy-face scream on me what I never heared afore. My ears shrinked. George! She sayed, what do I gots to do, duck tape you to the floor to keep you outta trouble? After I landed my plane and she beed quiet; I just only thunk Momma's prawly gonna hafta get a lot a lot a ducks to stuck me on the floor.

Ever week Momma brings home a present for me. She says, come here, Georgie, I gots a surprise for you; and I all a time bees hopin' for a hockey puck or a fat rubber Spiderman what I can chew on. Today she brung home a bow. I sayed, Momma, that bees a bow for a bitches hair, and she sayed, me mind my mouth young man. You leave that on and go wash your paws for dinner. You looks nice. I's gonna hafta eat this bow when she ain't lookin'.

DEAR GEORGE

HELPERS FOR MAKIN' BETTER PETS

OUTTA OUR PEOPLES

 

Dear George,

I can't believe that I am writing you, but I am at my wit's end with my Mister. He is constantly smooching on me. He has a bushy mustache that is smelly and tastes terrible and sticks into my nostrils. I don' t mind the occaisional show of affection, but he is unreasonably demanding and constantly invading my personal space. Help! How can I change this most annoying behaviour?

Poodle Pete

 

Dear Pete,

I knows just how you feels, acause my Momma's mustache is no bowl a candy, neither. But yous troubles is over, my friend! I fixed my Momma's all a time kissiness in 'bout two days. Here's what you do: eat poo.

 



A terrible thing have happened. Clive won't eat no liver-snaps, no pigs ears, nothin'. He tole me he been turned into a VEGAN! Then he sayed he feeled great. Which, that maked my furs all stand up and I sayed, VEGAN? You is a VEGAN? So, just like that, alls in a suddenly you doesn't believe in God no more? Clive maked a evil laugh on me and called me so stupid. But I knowed that just beed the devil talkin'. I's tellin' Mrs. Pearson on him.

TWO WORDS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE VERY CAREFUL

NOT TO MIX UP

AND THEN I USES ONE OF 'EM IN A SENTENCE

BUT NOT BOTH

1. Crotch
2. Crunch

 

I loves homemade peanut brittle what gots a nice snappy CROTCH to it.

I hadda put on my Happy Hat today acause I needs cheerin' up on account of I hadded a bad night last night. A little mouse squeaked outta my bum when I beed sleepin'. It waked me up, and then I jumped up and teared apart that bed lookin' for that little thing. Which, that waked up Momma and she weren't too happy. She sayed, oh, George, you just had a little fart, is all. Prawly somethin' you ate. I knows I never eated no fart mouse. I doesn't even knows what fart mouses looks like. So then I beed fussin' all the night long; worried over them sneaky critters and how come I bees eatin' 'em when I never even seen em'?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I'S HOPPIN' HAPPY AS A FLEA

ACAUSE ME AND MOMMAS GOIN IN THE CAR-CAR TO ALL A DRIVE-THRUS IN THE CITY

AND GETTIN' DOGGIE TREATS FOR FREE!

2 WORDS WHAT SOUNDS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY IS

AND THEN I USES THEM IN A SENTENCE

1. HARDLY, acause if you beed working hard, you could say hardly instead of hardish.
2. FAMISHED, acause it sounds like somethin's fulled up, like bein' famished of a video game.

 

Grammy sayed, I loves to see a growin' boy HARDLY eatin', have some more potatoes; but I sayed, no thanks, Grammy, I's FAMISHED.

Grammy gotted herself in a pickle jar today acause she tored apart Mr. Brown's be-cyclin' and he catched her in the yact. Then he chased her all a ways home. I tole Grammy, you hide; and then I putted on my super disguise mask afore Mr. Brown beed bangin' on our door. Where is your Momma, George, he sayed, all fulla mad. I is the Momma, Mr. Brown, I tole him. Then I sayed, there don't bees any doggies here, only my baby alligators. And I beed talkin' all squeaky like a momma alligator. Then I sayed, have a nice day, and I shutted the door. I seen his mouth hangin' open, but he couldn't say nothin'. Prawly he's ascared a alligators. But I saved the day for Grammy; and I ain't gonna open my big yapper and tell nobody nothin'. Just like Grammy sayed.

I seen the handsomest big man Boxer Dog today. He gotted pointy ears like little tee-pees sittin' on hims head. I wants them ears so bad. But Momma sayed that if the Lord wanted me to have pointy ears, he woulda gived me them. She even sayed they was faker ears. So I splained to Momma 'bout sometime if I doesn't does what I's tole, it bees acause I doesn't hear her. Acause my ears is in my ears. I could be such a good boy, I tole her, with ears what bees like little satellite dishes. But, no. No way, hosey, she sayed. So now I been brushin' 'em back like as if they's short. It ain't so bad. Momma hates 'em this way. I's glad.

At Sunday School today Mrs. Pearson teached us a prayer what sayed that The Lord is our Shepherd. Which, I thunk that beed so funny, acause Grampy gots a friend called Dirk the Drug Sniffer Dog; and he bees a Shepherd, too! So I beed tellin' all a kids what maybe The Lord sniffs drugs, too; and Mrs. Pearson's face gotted as red as my mittens and she maked me sit in the hallway until Momma came. I doesn't even know what the heck happened.

So when Momma axed me, does these pants make my butts look fat? I tole her, yes, Momma, they does. Then she beed sad, so I sayed, Momma, them pants is OK; it only bees your butts whats fat inside of ' em. Then she beed lookin' like a ole hound dog what gotted hims ear tromped on; so I tole her, prawly your butts bees fine, Momma. It even bees a little tiny butts. Just your belly bees pullin' them pants too tight on your winnie little butts. Then she busted up cryin'. I does not understand that shootin' gootin' woman for nothin'.

Momma been scarin' a haystack outta me today. Ever time I turns around she bees there yellin' at me. George! Git outta that laundry. Which, I's just lookin' for my blankie. George! Stop diggin' in the couch. And I only beed checkin' if she losed any quarters in there. When she sayed to stop eatin' the garbage; that done it. Firsty, I's only makin' sure she weren't throwin' out nothin' a mine. And twosy; I ain't no garbage-eater.Turn yous face offa me, Momma! I hollered at her. Then afore she could say nothin', I sayed, you looks like yous wearin' a bag a donkey tails for hair today. Then I just sended mine own self to bed.

1 WORD WHAT'S THREE WORDS IN ONE

AND THEN I USES IT IN A SENTENCE

1. Inattentively

I thinks we should go camping someday, Georgie, Momma sayed IN A TENT ively.

 

She never even really sayed that, she don't like campin'.

Momma haven't heared about this mornin' yet. Me and Velma walked Clive to school all by hisself for the first time. We seed a Crosser Guard at the corner; which, we never even heared nothin' about Crosser Guards before. When she blowed her whistle on us, me and Clive runned acrossed the street and up on her as fast as a zipper. It were on accident. Velma screamed. The red car stopped just afore it squashed the Crosser Guard's head. The black car hitted the red car. The Yambalance Man sayed, what in carnation was you boys thinkin'? I's gonna call yous Mommas. When Momma gets home from work today, I's gonna say, your hair looks very swell today, Momma. She likes that. I hopes some of the happy sticks on her after the Yambalance Man calls.

I gotted all spiffied up for a special night at Obee Dance School tonight, acause we was puttin' on a showoff for everbody can come an' see what we been learnin'.  I maked a secret surprise for Momma; so when Mrs. Barker sayed sit, and all the nother kids sitted down; I jus' tap, tappity, tap-danced like popcorn on a campfire. Alls a Mommies and Daddies was laughin' and clappin'on me. Then Mrs.Barker gotted to clickin' up a crazy on her clicker; which, that soaked in very good with my tappin'. Seem to me like everbody loved my tappy surprise, but most the specially  Momma. She weren't clappin', acause she beed coverin' her little face on account a her cryin'. Proud as a punch-bowl.

So I met a new cousin what's called Joseph and he bees seven but he looks like a baby acause he bees only a part of a Boxer. His Momma bees a Shitzu. That means you is a Shit-Box, Joseph, I tole him. And he went and chomped on my ear and hunged on there like his wife defended on it. I hadda swat him offa me. Momma seen Joseph flying acrossed the coffee table and she yelled, Mister George! You git to your room! But that Shit-Box bited me on my ear, I tole her; and she sayed, mind my mouth, young man. My ear is prawly broke; and that Joseph Shit-Box bees eatin' my liver-snaps to make him shut hims stupid whining up. I doesn't like my new cousin so much.

When Momma asked Grammy, did you been smokin' yous cigars in here again? Grammy didn't sayed nothin', but she stared her eyes all buggy over on me. So I sayed, I ain't been smokin' Grammy's cigars, Momma, smell my breath. Which, that weren't so smart, acause Momma smelled what I been eatin' her scotch mints. An' I hadda dig the rest of em' outta the couch and give 'em back.  I's prawly gonna hide Grammy's teeths tonight.

4 THINGS WHAT MOMMA NEVER SHOULD OF FEEDED ME

AND NO SENTENCE ACAUSE I BEES TOO DISGUSTIN'

1. Chicken's Legs
2. Rump Roast
3. The Popes Nose
4. Head Cheese

Somebody call the FBI or somethin'