I beed kidnapped today. True. I just been havin' a nice little jaunt when I seed a man what looked like Police, and he beed callin', Here, Pooch! Here, Pooch! So I comed here acause I thunk I could help him find Pooch. Afore I knowed who's what, I beed flinged into the back of a van, and the bad man sayed, don't worry, boy, I's with the Human Society; we's gonna find your Momma. Lie. Momma weren't even lost, she beed sleepin'. He took me to his clubhouse what had all kinda kidnap animals locked up like a jail. Momma only sayed, fifty dollars bees a lotta money, George. (I guess she paid the ransom.) I doesn't know why she gots to be mad. She oughta call the real Police on them kidnappers. And somebody needs to warn Pooch real quick; he bees the one they's lookin'for.