DEAR GEORGE
HELPERS FOR MAKIN'
BETTER PETS OUTTA OUR PEOPLE
Dear George,
I hope you can help me in a hurry. We are having company this weekend, and the Missus insists on bringing her two Yorkies; Leather and Lace. They stick their pointy little noses in my food and water, they sink their pointy little teeth into all my toys, and my Momma just thinks that they're the cutest little things. Whenever they're around, my Momma is constantly telling me to be nice, and she's blind to all the trouble that they cause. What can I do?
Bernadette Bouvier
Dear Bernadette,
I often lotsa times heared my Momma sayin' size do matter; and Leather and Lace bees zactly the reason why. You's a big girl, Bernadette! Own yous big black beauty. This is what I wants you to do: you sit aside yous Momma in fronta everbody and snarl like as if you gots a bumble bee up yous nose. Then yous Momma gonna be thinkin', look at my good, big girl protectin' me. After that, when there bees nobody lookin', step on one a them brats. That oughta do it.
George
I hope you can help me in a hurry. We are having company this weekend, and the Missus insists on bringing her two Yorkies; Leather and Lace. They stick their pointy little noses in my food and water, they sink their pointy little teeth into all my toys, and my Momma just thinks that they're the cutest little things. Whenever they're around, my Momma is constantly telling me to be nice, and she's blind to all the trouble that they cause. What can I do?
Bernadette Bouvier
Dear Bernadette,
I often lotsa times heared my Momma sayin' size do matter; and Leather and Lace bees zactly the reason why. You's a big girl, Bernadette! Own yous big black beauty. This is what I wants you to do: you sit aside yous Momma in fronta everbody and snarl like as if you gots a bumble bee up yous nose. Then yous Momma gonna be thinkin', look at my good, big girl protectin' me. After that, when there bees nobody lookin', step on one a them brats. That oughta do it.
George
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