At Sunday School today Mrs. Pearson teached us 'bout the meanin' a Easter, and it beed a surprise on me what it ain't just for Easter Bonnets 'n Easter Bunnies. She sayed what when Jesus rised outta deadness, it beed a symbol a new hope and a new wife. Which, I never even knowed He hadded a old wife afore; but Mrs. Pearson wouldn't not tell me who she beed, and did she got hitted by a car or somethin'? She anored my questions and just keeped on talkin'. But a least I's glad for to has new hope now. I hopes I gets a bike next year from the Easter Bunny.

Ever sometime Momma catches the PMS, what prawly means Pickin' on My Son; and she gots it very bad today. She called me for to come here, and when I comed here she sayed, don't not bugger me today, George, I gots the PMS. Which, I thunk that already. Then she sayed, why is you lookin' on me like that? Stop it! Then she sayed, git that face offa yous face, young man. Then she sayed, what? Is yous ears glued on or somethin'? I wishes they was glued on acause I would tug them ears offa my head and bury 'em atill Momma bees cured from her PMS disease. I's just gonna hide under the bed all day.

Me 'n Scabby Doyle hadded a little argue today acause he don't believes what I's gonna be avle a see the Easter Rabbit acause I gots special x-ray Easter Rabbit glasses for to spot him when he bees comin' down the chiminey with hims eggs. Scabby sayed that beed the dumbest thing what he ever heared. He sayed, The Easter Bunny don't comes down no chimineys, George; he ain't a bird, you know, he bees a bunny. So I tole him, firsty, Scabby, he lays eggs, don't he? And twosy, prawly that bees acause he bees a RABBIT, not a BUNNY, stupid. Then Scabby sayed what I beed the stupid one and I even beed too stupid for to talk to me no more. I sayed, zactly. Which, I prawly didn't wanna mean that; but a least Scabby goed away and he never even tried a hit me or nothin'.

Today I turned a little bit into a big boy acause Grampy taked me to hims Barbara Shop and he tole Barbara Sam for to give me a man's haircut. And he sayed, don't be puttin' none a that girlie smellin' rosie clover goop on him, neither, Barbara Sam. George here bees a boxer boy, and he oughts a smell like one. When I gotted in hims chair, I whispered on Barbara Sam, can you just give me a number one on the sides and leave the tops alone? I all a time been wantin' for to has a mohawk; and Barbara Sam winked on me and done like I axed! Thanks goodness what Grampy bees so blind acause when he sayed, c'mere boy, let's has a look-see; I just letted him feel my butts astead a my head. He thunk my haircut beed great. Then he taked a big sniff a my butts and sayed, now you smells like a man, Georgie. And then Barbara Sam winked on me again. Maybe I's gonna wanna be a Barbara someday, too.

Momma teached me all kinda party tricks and I all a time thunk what I beed so smart acause everbody what seed my tricks sayed, oh George, you is so smart! 'Cept today I hadda go and find out what really I beed bein' a prevert. Clive telled me a prevert bees a boy what goes 'round showin' off hims manly junks at strangers; and when I sits pretty, my junks bees pokin' right out there like as if theys gonna say hello. I can't not believe what how much everbody has seed my junks all my whole life; and I is so blood-bubbly mad on Momma what I thinks my head bees gonna splode. She can just forget all her prevert tricks. I ain't even gonna eat atill I gets a pair a pants.

Mrs. Mako down the street gots a little baby pool what's called a hot tub, and it ain't even maked for swimmin'; only you can sit down and belax in it. Which, I needs for to belax. But Mrs. Mako all a time says, sorry George, no doggies bees allowed in my hot tub. Today I tried a tricker on Mrs. Mako and I goed to her hot tub pool lookin' like a rubber duckie. She sayed, hi there Georgie, what does you thinks you is doin'? I talked all quackity and I sayed, I doesn't knows no Georgie. I is Robert Rubber Duckie. Then she sayed, well, how come you gots doggie feets sitckin' outta yous body, Robert? When I tried a hide my feets, I poked a hole in Robert and we flewed acrossed the yard on a giant fart. Me and Robert gotted stucked in the fence, and Mr. Mako hadda saw us outta it. Prawly I hopes what Momma gonna unnerstand what it really bees all Robert's fault. She gottsa pay for the hole in the fence.

Momma gots magic sausage underwears what she calls spanky pants and she wears 'em if she wanna bees only chubby astead a tubby some days. I loves them spanky pants. Evertime Momma brings 'em out, I grabs 'em. Then Momma grabs 'em; and if she tugs real hard, I flies all over the house. They's like bungy pants. 'Cept today, Momma letted go. Them spanky pants slapped me in my face worser than Trixie Jackson done when I tried a kiss her ahind her berandah. I screamed like a kitty stucked up a tree; which, I weren't even plannin' that. It just comed outta my mouth. Now my lips bees fat, and I can't not whistle no more.

I couldn't not believe what comed outta Momma's brains tonight; she sayed what it bees my turn for to do the dishes acause she bees sick 'n tired what all a time she gots a do everthin'. I tole her, I isn't no monkey, Momma, I's a boxer dog; I doesn't gots no fingies for scrubbin' plates. But she sayed, you uses yous feets just fine for buryin' bones, George; I is sure what you can scrape some bisgetti offa them plates. So I licked a couple clean, and I breaked a few, and then Momma sayed what she guesses what she really doos gots a do everthin' her own self now, don't she. Which, I ain't gettin' no liver snaps tonight; but sometime I gots a take a little pains for to help Momma memember what all bees what all.

Clive bugs me. He all a time thinks what he bees so smart just acause he bees older an me. Like today when he seed me he laughed on me and sayed,who does you thinks you is, George? Lock Tess the Monster? I tole him, no, Clive, I's a bee skeeper, and this bees my bee skeeper uniform. I's bein a bee skeeper for to sell theys honey and buy mine self a shiny red bike. Then Clive sayed what I is such a idiot. Yous Momma gonna throw a flip-flop-fit when she sees yous bees buzzin' all 'round. Which, that beed my chance for to laugh on Clive. I tole him, you better cover yous self up with a beach towel, Clive, acause yous stupid bees showin'. Momma never gonna see no bees. Everbody knows what bees lives in a HIDE, Clive. He just walked away lookin' all dumb-faced. Prawly he don't even knows whats a beach towel.

This mornin' Grammy hadded green beer for breakfast acause she bees salivatin' a special day today. She tole me, 'bout twenty or a hundred years ago there beed a little boy in Irishland called Patrick, but everbody all a time been callin' him Faddy Paddy. That weren't so nice on him, but he did been pretty pudgey for a little boy, Grammy sayed. Finally one day, Faddy Paddy thunk, I's gonna show everbody; and he started runnin' for to lose some weight. Him's runnin' maked such a thump-thump acrossed the land what all the snakes gotted scared and jumped into the ocean. Which, Faddy Paddy saved the day acause afore that, them snakes beed eatin' everbodies potatoes. So when Faddy Paddy comed home, Murray O'Malley, the mayor a Irishland sayed, don't nobody call Faddy Paddy faddy no more; that boy bees a saint! And everbody cheered, hooray, Saint Patrick, hooray! I axed Grammy how come her beer bees green and she sayed, prawly acause nobody gonna wanna drink blue beers.

Today I axed Momma, can I please, please, pleeeze has a birdie, Momma? And she sayed, nope. So I sayed, Momma, how come you all the time never lets me has a pet? Then she tole me, a course you can't not has a pet, Georgie; you IS a pet! ................. WHAT? I beed horrifyin' acause I seed what Momma weren't not jokin' on me. And Momma beed horrifyin' acause she seed what I weren't not jokin' neither. I doesn't knows what in the carnation Momma beed thinkin' all my whole life; but ya doesn't has a Boxer Dog and jus' spect what it bees a pet. If she wants a has a pet so bad, she oughta shoulda gotta goldfish. Grammy gonna has to has a talk at her.

Momma gots a get her walkies ever day, else she bees stirred-up crazy. So when it beed rainin' all day today, I weren't mindin' acause I gots a new rain honcho what I boughted when I taked Grammy's bottles back to the beer shop. I called at Momma, go get yous leash, Momma, an' I's gonna take you out. And then I gotted my rain gear on for to surprise her. Which, she sure beed surprised on me. What in the name a Howard Monk does you thinks you is wearin', Georgie? You looks like a giant duck. If you goes out lookin' like that, some hunter gonna shoot you. Go get changed, young man. I axed Momma, who the hay bees Howard Monk? And she sayed, I doesn't know. So I sayed, well, I isn't changin' then. I taked her for her walk and I never got shooted by no hunter; and I beed nice an' cozy dry when we gotted home. I tole Momma, prawly you better look out for mouse traps, Momma, acause you looks like a drownded rat. She didn't thunk that beed so funny.

Me an' Clive is in a hang-dang of a fight today, and it all bees acause of a stupid girl what Clive bringed over for to meet me. He sayed, George, meet Daphne. She bees the girl what I loves. Which, I couldn't not believe my eyes. I sayed, you is kiddin' on me, right, Clive? Daffy here bees a sheep dog. He sayed, she bees Daff-a-nee, George, and I doesn't care what she bees; she bees beautiful to me. I tole him maybe she prawly bees ugly as a can a dead minnows but he don't knows that acause her face bees so hairy. That bees how come sheep dogs gots a stick with sheep dogs, so they don't gots a see each another, Clive. But Clive jus' sayed, I loves this hairy girl, George, and that bees that. So I sayed, fine. Then I blowed and blowed on Daffy's face for to try an' get Clive to see what I is right; but that hairy face a hers did not budge. Then Clive grabbed onto a clump a hair and sayed, c'mon, Daff-a-nee, don't give him no never mind; and away they goed. That bees OK. He gonna come runnin' back some windy day. Prawly scared to deaf from her face.

Ever sometime if I bees very boring, I likes a make spit bubbles an' stare at 'em sparkle in the sunshine. Grampy seed me doin' that today, and he screamed on me, don't never stare down yous nose like that no more, Georgie. Then he telled me 'bout hims friend. Everbody called him Five Minute McGee acause hims nose beed so long that when it comed into a room, it taked five minutes for the resta hims face to get there. One day a birdie landed on hims nose and Five felled in love with her, and named her Mary Beth. He stared and stared on Mary Beth so much that hims eyeballs taked a U-turn; and when Mary Beth seed hims criss-cross eyes, she sayed, sorry, Fivey, I doesn't loves you no more, and she flewed away. Poor Five cried so much what hims tears maked a river what runned down hims nose and he drownded from a broked heart. Grampy sayed if I keeps starin' at my spit bubbles, mine eyes be gonna do a U-turn like Five Minute McGee done. Which, I thinks that bees reedickilous what a big-nose doggie gonna loves a birdie.

Today I frinked out acause when Momma gotted home from work, she did not look like my Momma what so all. She hadded a real honky-tonk of a new hair-do. I axed her, what did that groomer done to yous head, Momma? And she beed all cited, talkin like a butterfly, sayin', doesn't ya likes my new hair, Georgie? Doesn't ya thinks I looks younger? Does ya likes the colour? So, a course I sayed, oh, yes, Momma, you looks nice, and young, and colourful; acause she bees stuck with that hair now, anyhows. But behind my back I beed thinkin', how would you gonna likes it if you leaves yous handsome boxer dog in the mornin', and when you comes home, I bees a curly-headed mess of a poodle what's even the wrong colour for a poodle? Prawly not so much. Poor Momma. Some time, she just don't know.

Today at Sunday School Mrs. Pearson been teachin' us 'bout we gots a angel on one shoulder, an' a devil on the nother shoulder, and theys all a time tellin' us for to do good things or bad things. If that ole devil bees talkin' too loud on us, we's apposed a STOP, DROP, AND ROLL; and put out that devil fire 'a desire what bees burnin' inside a our bellies. Which, that maked me fell down the stairs at recess. I wanted a take Clive's pack a gum; so I stopped, and I dropped, an' I forgetted 'bout them stairs when I beed rollin'. Mrs. Pearson sayed I ain't apposed a really do all that; I's just apposed a think afore I acts, is all. Prawly maybe Mrs. Pearson gottas do a think on her own self afore she bees teachin' us on stupid stuff.

Yesterday Velma's tooth felled out so she putted it under her pillow and the Tooth Fairy comed and buyed it offa her when she beed sleepin'. She gotted two dollars for one little tooth what don't even work no more. My teeths is all stucked in good 'n tight, so astead, I taked Grammy's teeths outta her water bowl and putted them under my pillow and goed to sleep fast fast so the Tooth Fairy gonna come and buy 'em. I thunk prawly I's gonna get a least ten dollars, acause there beed so many teeths; and they even gotted theys own mouth already. Alls a suddenly, I gotted  a clout on the backs a my head what maked my eyes pop out. Which, that weren't the Tooth Fairy. It beed Grammy lookin' for her teeths for to eat some pickles and crackers. She sayed don't me dare never touch her teeths again. And I sure doesn't dare. I doesn't dare tell her what I beed gonna sell 'em, neither. Lucky thing the Tooth Fairy beed late.

Today the radio sayed what Easter bees early this year. And then I heared the old ladies what sits around my 'partment blobby talkin' 'bout Easter bees early this year. And ever store what I sees is jackpot full a Easterish stuff. So I gotted dressed up for Easter. Momma laughed on me and she sayed, Easter still bees a long ways off. Which, now I doesn't get it. Do Easter bees early; or do it don't be? So I goed at Grammy Bob Sandcock's house and axed her; and she tole me, sounds to me what somebody bees fiddling with the truth, Georgie. Now you bees best to git on home and git dressed like a proper boxer dog. You looks reedickilous. Then she gived me a drive home in her taxicab what she ordered up for to take her to the beer shop.

Today I is a super hero what bees called Super George The Boxer Dog; and bad guys needs to look out acause I's watchin' on them acause I only loves to do one thing: I FIGHTS GRIME.

I bees all doodley-noodled in my head today acause I all a time beed thinkin' what my world's favourite liver snaps been really apposed a be called LOVER snaps, but Momma sayed the name wrong; and I goed along with her so's she wouldn't got all bareassed 'bout I bees smarter an her. But Momma beed right. Liver snaps does bees maked outta LI-VER. Which, that bees deesgustin'; and, I loves 'em. So, must be I bees a liver lover, and I does not love lovin' liver; but I does loves my liver snaps. Grampy sayed what I bees sittin' on the horns of a dilemma; but I doesn't feels nothin' in my butts. I's just confused 'bout how come I loves for to eat somethin' so gross.

At Sunday School today Mrs. Pearson tole us 'bout Saint Peter and The Pearly Gates a Heaven; and that beminded me 'bout a friend what Grampy used a had what everbody called Sneaky Pete acause he maked sneaky farts all a time. Hims wife even leaved him acause he would not stop hims fartin'. So there he beed, Grampy sayed, sittin in hims house, just a cryin' and a fartin' all by hims lonesome; and he besided a had a smoke. But there beed so many sneaky farts in hims house, that when he tried a light hims smoke; he blowed hisself up. So I axed Mrs. Pearson, does you thinks what Sneaky Pete gotted turned into Saint Peter when he blowed up and goed to heaven? But she sayed no. He bees a different guy.