Dear Momma, A terrible thing have happened when you was at work today. I were nappin' like a good boy; and then a bad boy sneakered in and eated yous favourite cookbook acause he thunk what the pictures beed real food, but they only just tasted like paper. Prawly. Which, that beed how come he spitted it out all over the kitchen. Prawly. But don't you not worry, Momma; I's gone out for to look for that bad boy. I thinks what he bees called Chester the Jester and he looks like a jester dog; 'cept I ain't positively on account a I beed nappin'. But if you sees a jester dog, don't not touch him, Momma; just swoosh him outta the house, OK? And then I's prawly gonna be home soon after that. I loves you Momma. Your good boy son, George.