Today I were gonna be a cherry picker at Wilson's Cherries, 'cept I doesn't got no thumbs. Only lotsa toes on my feets. So astead, I beed a helper and I were pickin' up all the cherries what the ladies dropped and poppin' 'em in my mouth. The ladies called me, George the Cherry Popper; and they was all callin' on me, come here, Georgie, I needs ya for to pop my cherries! I beed such a good helper all the day long jus' poppin' cherries on one girl and then on the nother. When I tole Momma 'bout poppin' all them girls cherries today, shes eyebrows goed all hard and she sayed, I is gonna has to has a word with them ladies. I hopes she don't get me fired. I likes poppin' cherries.

Today at Sunday School we learned 'bout a man what was called Joanie; and he didn't did what God tole him so he beed swallowed up by a whale. Then Joanie hadda stay in the belly a the whale for three days atill God forgived him 'n he gotted spitted back out. Which, I thunk, prawly he beed pretty stinky after that. But Mrs. Pearson sayed that ain't the point on the story. It bees about forgivishness, George, she sayed. So I axed her, does ya thinks what Joanie forgived hims Momma for callin' him a girls name? She tole me just colour my picture now. I doesn't thinks what Mrs. Pearson knowed the story 'bout Joanie and the whale too good, acause she didn't not even know what colour hims hair were apposed a bees. So I coloured it black acause I gots a Auntie called Auntie Joanie. She gots red hair.





Today I felled hard in love forever, an' then outta love for good; an' it all beed faster than a ant pees. I meeted a girl what was called Bunny; and she beed the whitest, fluffiest, Angelist of Love I has ever seed. 'Cept I never even knowed what Bunny beed called Bunny acause she really beed a bunny atill I bringed her home with me for to meet my Momma. Then Grampy runned out whoopin' an' hollerin', git the stew-pot, Georgie; an' I's gonna crack her on her head with a rock! But Bunny skeedaddled in a puff 'a fluff afore Grampy gotted a hold on her. I cried, why did ya gone an' done that, Grampy? My heart beed tingly in love with that Bunny. I were mighta gonna marry her one day. Grampy tole me, Georgie, that beed yous belly what were tinglin', not yous heart. Ever Boxer Dog loves the rabbit stew; it bees our nature, son. Which, I has to mitt what I was feelin' a little hungry after all a that locomotion. Prawly I can't never eat rabbit stew now, though. I doesn't eat hot dogs neither.

At Sunday School today, we was all laughin' our faces apart acause Mrs. Pearson beed talkin' 'bout Jesus were ridin' Him's ass all over the town for to teach the folks 'bout God's Good News. Then she sayed, stop yous silliness, childrens. A ass bees a donkey, OK? So I thunk what that bees kinda like how a motorcycle bees a hog. I axed Mrs. Pearson, does ya thinks what Jesus's Holy Momma used of ride Him's ass for to get out an' teach everbody? Mrs. Pearson sayed, don't not be so ignert, George. But I weren't even. I were only thinkin' what prawly I's gonna stick mine own Momma on my hog ( when I gets one), an' take her to the Dairy Queen. Which, that bees nice. Not ignert.

Grammy losed her teeths in a taxicab when she beed comin' home from karaoke last night. Now she bees too bareassed for to go out nowheres with her gums all bare-naked; so I hadda kept on ridin' in taxicabs huntin' for her teeths today. I were lookin' in back seats, an' axin' drivers, did ya find any teeths in yous car? An' everbody sayed nope, I ain' seed no teeths here. Atill finally, I seed a taxicab driver what smiled zactly like Grammy. 'Cept with a man-mouth. I sayed, that bees a dandy smile ya gots there, sir. Is them new teeths? He sayed, as a matter on a fact, they is! I tole him, well, if you finded them teeths in yous car, then they bees my Grammy's teeths, an' ya gotsa give 'em back. But he sayed, they bees in my mouth now. That makes 'em mine. Which, that  maked me so mad what I yelled, THEY BEES BOXER BITCH TEETHS BUSTER! He jus' smiled Grammy's smile on me. So then I sayed all quiet and devilly, she drinks outta the toilet, ya know. He popped them teeths out faster than a spitball. And that bees how Grammy gotted her teeths back.

Today I seed Clive hangin' on No Good Corner with a new boy whats called Twice Kool Keith. Clive axed me, ya knows why hims name bees Twice Kool, Georgie? Then Twice Kool Keith sayed, acause if I gotsa tell ya twice; I sends ya to the Smithereens on the end a my boot. And he were wearin' big black Harold Davidson boots, too. The both a them smiled on me and I sayed, does yous fellas been eatin' poops? Ya gots brown stuffs sticked on yous teeths. Then Clive popped a cigarette butt in hims mouth an' eated it. CIGARETTES, CLIVE? Is you a idiot? You is comin' home with me right now, I tole him. Then I bited hims ear good 'n hard. Which, I never even knowed what I were gonna done that. Twice Kool Keith gotted all snakey up in hims eyes and sayed, is ya forgettin' 'bout the Smithereens, Georgie? So I jus' axed Clive, what does ya rather has? Smithereens? Or Twice Mad Momma? He comed home with me. And he puked up all the way. I jus' thunk, well that serves you good now, don't it?

 

Mrs. Pearsonn beed teachin' us alls 'bout Angels at Sunday School today; and she sayed what even everbody gots hims own Guard Dog Angel. Which, they whispers in yous ears for to keep you safe all a time, all a time. My Guard Dog Angel bees called Dwayne. He tole me that. Scabby Doyle sayed what ever time a bell rings, the nother Angel gets hims wings. So at snack time, I taked Mrs. Pearson's bell and I were ringin' the daynights outta it. I heared baby Angels sayin' Yay George! Yay George! Atill all on a suddenly, I heared Mrs. Pearson screamin', Hey George! Put that bell down... you is makin' a racket! Prawly Racket Angels bees the same like baby ones. Maybe you is only allowed makin' so many a day; like fishin'. But Dwayne telled me, don't not worry; I's jus' gonna hafta ring up 'nother batch next week.