ONE NEW FAVOURITE WORD

AND THEN I USES IT IN A SENTENCE

 

1. CROTCHETY

 

A CROTCHETY ole man don't means what he gots a big crotch, it only means what he bees cranky; and maybe even he bees so CROTCHETY all acause hims crotch ain't big what so all.

Today at Sunday School, Mrs. Pearson telled us a story what beed apposed a make our minds all easy for to know what God bees takin' care a us forever 'n ever amen. But now I is very very worried acause we heared 'bout one time there beed two hundred hungry peoples at the park; and even know Jesus only hadded two fishies, He maked a miracle and feeded everbody millions a globes and fishies atill they beed all filled up. I hates fish. And maybe everbody in heaven hasn't never heared 'bout peanut butter. So if I bees lost and hungry one day and all on a sudden globes and fishes bees fallin' outta the sky... well, I's prawly gonna starve to deaf. My mind ain't on easy what so all.

Today I seed a girl what beed so pretty she were sparklin', and I tole Clive what I wishes what a pretty girl like that gonna wanna kiss on me. Clive sayed, that bees Loose Linda, George; she kisses on all the boys. Go axe her. So I goed and I axed her and she sayed no. Then she tole me, I don't not kisses no ugly boys, George. So I sayed OK, thanks you. And then I walked at Grampy's house feelin' all saddish and bareassed. I axed Grampy if I bees ugly and he sayed I prawly don't not gots a worry acause ugly ole caterpillars turns into beautiful butterflies. Do that means what I is gonna be a beautiful butterfly somedays, Grampy? I axed him. He sayed, a course not Georgie. You is a boxer dog. Which, that don't not makes no sense what so all. And now I still gots a find out how ugly I is afore I goes all over the town axin' for kisses.

I's prawly gonna hafta run away from home today else Momma gonna kill me. And I means kill me to deaf. I heared her callin' my Dr. Vegetarian, and she sayed, that's right, Sally, I needs to bring George in for to get the Mr. Doctor to give him a shot. I thinks what she finded her bra what I eated on accident; acause then she sayed, yes, yes, Sally, I doesn't wants him to get the rabies, too. Which, all she gots a say is, George, if you eats my rabies, I's gonna shoot you. A course I wouldn't not eat 'em if I knowed that. Prawly I wouldn't not even eated up her bra if I knowed what it beed such a big portant deal. I never thunk what Momma gonna get so shootin' gootin' mad over some little ole bowl a rabies what I didn't not eat any ole how. I only eated the bra.

Momma tole me all a time all a time, don't not eat gums offa the sidewalk, Georgie, that bees totalish deesgustin'. But today I seed a big pink juicy hunk a gum what I just hadded a had; and so I hadded it. But I broked a tooth gettin' it, and Momma bees mad on me again. She sayed what I looks like a backwoods cycle path. Which, I hardly doubts what I's gonna get runned over by no bicycle just acause I gots a broke tooth. I tried a show Momma what my broke tooth bees a built-in whistle now; and I sayed, don't that bees fun, Momma? She sayed, they ain't nothin' funny 'bout havin' a whistle-face cycle path son. Prawlys gonna take Momma a couple or a few days for to get used of it.

Grampy taked me to the circus today and when we was watchin' the show under the big tent, he felled in loves with a miniature horse what beed called Long Face Leona. Which, doggies don't not usually loves horsies, but Grampy sayed what Long Face Leona bees a small enough horsie for to looks like a big dog. He sayed, if we has babies, George, they could be hogs! But I tole him what they already bees such a thing as hogs. Hogs is pigs, Grampy, I sayed. He slapped my paw and my cotton candy flewed two rows down and gotted stucked in a ole granny's hairs. He sayed, how dares you calls my babies pigs! Well, firsty, I tole him, you don't not gots any baby hogs, Grampy. And twosy, you might oughts a take a better look at yous girlfriend right now; acause she beed poopin' out a haystack and walkin' on the same time. Then she smiled right bang on Grampy with she's cob a corn teeths; and Grampy sayed, Yikes! We gots a gets the hang dang outta here, George. All a ways home I keeped on sayin' whinney, whinney, whinney on Grampy; and he keeped on sayin', shut up George, on me. Which, that beed rude.

At Sunday School today Mrs. Pearson teached us what a rich man gots a ride on a camel and stick a needle in hims eye afore he bees allowed a get into heaven. What does yous thinks 'bout that, childrens? She axed us. So I tole everbody what I thinks that bees great, acause Grammy sayed what she bees rather sticks a needle in her eye afore she ever gonna dance a jig with Pudge Pringle again. So she just gots a get herself a camel for to ride around; and God prawly gonnas say, park yous camel out back and come on in, Grammy. Which, that bees good news acause Grammy has did a lots a shenanigans. Mrs. Pearson sayed, it don't quite works like that, George. Do anybody else thinks somethin'? I putted up mine hand again but she wouldn't not pick me. I just beed gonna axe, do anybody knows where to gets a camel?