I bees mad to Momma today acause she played a tricker on me. Hold still, Georgie, she sayed, you looks so cute. So a course I holded still, acause I all a time gets a treat after. And I thunk I beed cute acause Momma sayed so. But she tooked a picture a dribbles and bubbles hangin' outta my face and she thinks it just bees so heelarious. That woman gots something wrong with her.

Me and Clive had us a big hanker for burgers today, but they's no dogs allowed in the Burger Barn. 'Cept for guide dogs is OK. So I betended I beed blind, and Clive beed my guider, and we walked right on in. But the hamburger lady been a tough ole cob a corn and she sayed you doggies git on outta here or I's gonna call on the police. Which, he been a very nice policeman what drived us home. And he even knowed where I lives acause sometimes he drives Grammy home when she bees all lickered up. He even sayed, say hello to Grammy!

4 WORDS WHAT GOES VERY GOOD WITH SHIT

AND THEN I USES THEM IN 2 SENTENCES

SO'S YOU CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE

1. Head
2. Box
3. Hole
4. Bag

That HEAD Frank what I works with drived his BOX to his HOLE to pick up his BAG wife acause she broked her foot and hadda go to the doctor.

 

That SHITHEAD Frank what I works with drived his SHITBOX to his SHITHOLE to pick up his SHITBAG wife acause she broked her foot and hadda go to the doctor. 

Grampy sayed he scared the pants offa a chubby lady in the Walmart parking lot today. Acause he bees so blind, he gotted into the wrong car, and when the lady opened her door; she screamed and Grampy runned. So has you got them now, Grampy? I asks him. Got what, George? Does you got the chubby pants now? He just tole me stop interruptin' and listen to his hang-dang story. But I couldn't listen no more. My head beed jammed up with pictures of that chubby no-pants lady screamin' her face off in the parkin' lot. I sure woulda like to seen that big ole pair a chubby pants.

So I been tryin' a help Momma cook supper tonight and she sayed, George, git out! You isn't the cooker here, I is. Why doesn't you just go and do something puppyish. So I done what she sayed and now she bees grumpin' at me even worser than before.I doesn't get that creasley measley woman.

1 BOYS NAME WHAT SOUNDS LIKE A DIRTY WORD

AND THEN I USES IT IN A SENTENCE

1. Dick

I asked Momma can I play outside with my new friend DICK and she sayed, don't you talk rude at me, Mr. George, you git to your room; so I hadda tell DICK he gots to go home acause he beed named after a penis.

Momma haven't let me near my Facebook for a longest time now acause she been too busy hiding all a my belongings in cardboard boxes. She don't know what I hided a bone in the couch yet; but I HAD to. We's moving, Georgie, she says. Well, a course I knows we's movin'. She bees all, git outta here, move over, git down... I's movin' all a time. No, Georgie, you's gonna have a new dress, she says all excited like. Well, what the heck does I want with a new dress? Someone needs to have a talk at that woman.