VERY LOTSA DIFFERENT KINDS A COCK

ALL PUTTED TOGETHER IN A RUN-ON SENTENCE 

 

That COCKy COCKer spaniel COCKED hims ears when he heared me comin', then he COCKED him's COCK-eyed eye on me an' I sayed COCK-a-doodle-doo on you, Kenneth you's nothin' but a half-COCKed COCKer fulla COCK 'n bull.

I maked a idea for to be Momma's Little Helper today and have her slippers all cozy at the door for her when she gotted home. But some kinda things goed wrong on me. When I picked up them slippers, my mouth sayed, hey, I thinks I gots a jack rabbit in here. Then my nose sayed, I thinks I smells a forest critter. And my brain tole everthin', I thinks I's apposed to be Momma's Little Hunter. Next thing I knows, them bunnies is lookin' like a family a mouses. Which, I hadda hide 'em in the couch. Now Momma bees sayin' she gots to be losin' her marble acause she can't find them dang slippers. So I tole her, don't worry, Momma, I's gonna be here an save you if you sets yous hair on fire.

Clive tole me that today bees HUMP day, and he laughed like as if it beed sooo funny. I sayed, maybe that bees funny if you is a camel, Clive, but I doesn't get it. So then he called me a stupid camel's toe. Which, that did be funny on me acause I never thunk about callin' nobody a toe afore. When Momma comed home from work I beed a joker on her and I sayed, how was yous hump today, Mrs. Camel Toe? And she twisted on my ear atill I sayed yelp.

Grammy gotted all dillied up for to look for a job today, but she comed home madder an a three-legged goat covered in horseflies. That bald-headed people-breath ole man at Freeder's Breeders tole me I's too ole for puppy-makin', she sayed. So I tole that so an so what's what. I sayed I hasn't never seen Freeder's Breeders in no Book A Who's Who; so when you bees runnin' willy nilly hither an tither lookin' for a bitch with a little somethin' somethin'; don't you be barkin' on my tree. And I ain't whisperin' pixie, neither. I tole Grammy Bob what she maked me proud. I sayed she gots a fur-lined tongue. Then Grammy sayed, George, go axe your Momma if she gots any gin.

We's havin' a Christmas party at the Obee Dance School, and everbody bees makin' treats for to bring. Momma sayed, I's gonna make you some nice cupcakes, Georgie. But I sayed, no, Momma, I wants to make mine own treats. They's gonna be Doggie-Style treats. Momma sayed, how's about we makes a nice Puppy-Type gingerbread house? I gots it! I sayed, I's gonna make a Boner-House! Then Grammy Bob sayed she would love to live in a Boner-House. Momma tole her, shut your yap, Maisy. Which, that weren't very festive talk for Christmas cookin' time.

At Sunday School today Mrs. Pearson been teachin' us what we's all soldiers in the Army of the Lord. If we gots enimas, we oughta march on out there and kill 'em with kindness; she sayed that bees our weapon. So I been kind to Clive when he sayed, George, may I has that milk-bone yous eatin'? I sayed, why, sure, Clive; and I gived it to him. But then when I axed Clive, may I has my milk-bone back now? He sayed no. Now I bees thinkin' on lookin' for some kind thing to crack him over hims head with.

Today I thunk I will be a very fine store detective acause if everbody tries to put socks in they's pocket and steal 'em and they sees me watchin' 'em, they's only gonna think; my, oh my, what a cute little doggie. They's never gonna figure I's gonna jump on 'em and arrest 'em, specially acause I gots a disguise. But when me and Momma goed to the store today, a big man store detective grabbed on me and sayed, why is you wearin'a disguise, little doggie, is you tryin' to steal my milk bones? And then he hollered on the whole store, WILL GEORGE'S MOMMA PLEASE COME TO THE OFFICE! And Momma sayed, Lordy Gordy, George, I can't take you nowheres and she maked me wait in the car. So then I beed a excellent car detective after that.