Ole Mr. Stump used of been a English teacher afore he retarded and maked hisself a store what's called Stump's Store. Today Grammy gived me a dollar for to go to the store an' git outta her hairs. Which, I weren't even near her anyhows. I axed Mr. Stump, doesn't ya gots no bubbly gums? I ain't seen none nowhere. He sayed, where is your grammar, young man? I tole him Grammy were at home. Then he tole me what grammars must of bees used, else they's gonna dry up an' die. I thunk, Holy Ponchos! And I runned fast fast home and tole Grammy to git me a sandwich, (for to use her up a bit). Then I tole her, do it now, Grammy, else you is gonna DIE!! She bited me in my ear and tole me, don't not talk to me atill you wants to pollogize 'bout bein' so rude. I tried a tell her sorry what I saved yous life, Grammy; but she just bited me again and now she still bees mad on me. And I is mad on her now, too. She prawlys gonna wish she maked me that sandwich when she starts dryin' out like a ole empty tuna can.
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