Well me an' Momma hasn't hadded a fight since a long time; but we sure done up a ripper of a argue  tonight. All acause she leaved her shoes where they shouldn't oughta beed, an' I had a little taste. So Momma gotted on her explodey eyeballs an firsty she sayed, don't not even look at me, George! I is so deesgusted on you! But then when I weren't lookin' she hollered, you look at me when I is talkin' to you! I looked on her, but the parently then she jus' plain didn't like my face acause she tole me to took it off. Which, that maked me flustrated acause how is I apposed of took my own face offa my face, so I blurtled out, Momma, if you loves them shoes sooo much, why doesn't ya jus' run away with em'? I weren't even tryin' a be funny atill I heared what my own self sayed; an' then me an' Betsy laughed an' laughed an' laughed. Momma prawly jus' didn't unnerstan' the whole joke of it. She still bees mad. I ain't the loud lookin' on her again right now.

So my big little older sister Betsy thinks what she bees a big fat designer dog an' she gots Momma sewin' up a whack a doggy coats what she have thunk up. Well, that wouldn't not nevermind me so much 'cept for; guess who gottsa put the stupid things on for to took a picture? My Momma have beed makin' me dress up in BIG GIRL COATS! Please, if everbody gonna go at biggirlsbybetsy.com an' see all a the coats an' such... an' then if yous guys gonna buy 'em all up... yous gonna save my life!
God bless yous.

Today at Sunday School I beed prayin' so hard I prawly gots blisters on my soul. Then Mrs. Pearson sayed, George! Why is you actin' all Bob Noxious sittin' there mutterin' at yous own self? Pay attention! So I tole her, I is prayin' is all, Mrs. Pee. Which, she hates bein' called Mrs. Pee. An' I splained 'bout how me an' Grampy was watchin' movies last night, an' we been eatin' popcorn with our movies; so Grampy snucked Grammy's teeths outta her water dish after she goed to bed acause they bees the bestest popcorn chompers in the world. But now today Grammy bees madder an' a fat girl on a diet, sayin' what she keeps tastin' Orville Baker in her mouth. She throwed Grampy outside an' he ain't the loud back in even know he bees so thirsty. So, I sayed, Mrs. Pearson, that bees why I is prayin' to the Tooth Fairy, for to get Grampy a new set a good popcorn teeths afore he thirsties to deaf outside. Well, Mrs. Pearson standed there, an' her mouth keeped on movin' like as if there beed words all lined up an' ready for to go... but nothin' comed out. Nothin' what so all. I's prawly gonna hafta find out if there bees a Talkin' Fairy somewheres; prawly say a couple a prays for her too.

Well, look like Momma winned again. She gots me wearin' the BIG GIRL SEX IN THE CITY coat; an' I ain't even apposed of say s-e-x. I tried a argue on her 'bout I don't not wanna wear these stupid Big Girl clothes, but Momma sayed, jus' hush yous self George an' stan' still! Try an' look like a Poodle. Now, Georgie, say what Momma tole ya. Which, that bees that this stupid coat gots a riginal fake purse an' bees maked outta warm soft cosy cuddly an' stylish fleece. I ain't sayin' it. Long hairs don't cares.... oooh....noooo... Look what my Momma have did to me!

I tole Momma what I ain't wearin' no girlie coat for yous pictures... Clive an' Scabby Doyle has already beed callin' me Georgina an' axin', where's yous high heels, Georgina? But Momma jus' only sayed, yes you is, Mister. You gottsa support yous sister an' her inventions. You is gonna show-off Big Girls By Betsy; plus-sized coats for to keep them big girls warm in style; acause you wanna bees a good brother. Which, I don't even cares. Momma tole me I is gonna tole everbody what I is wearin' BIG GIRL GOES DANCIN', by Betsy. An' I is apposed of say what it features a genuine 18 carrots fake gold studded belt an' necklace, an' super duper warm fleece. But I tole Momma, no way hosey! You is not flyin' my picture alls over the internest lookin' like this. Betsy gots lots the nother coats what I ain't gonna model, neither. I tole Clive an' Scabby what Momma bees makin' me support my sister, an' now they gots everbody callin' me Wonderbra.

So there bees a new game what everbody has beed playin' alls aroun' the town called POKE-YER-MOM-AN-GO! I thunk, what a fun thing that gonna be for to play on my Momma; an' I tole Betsy an' Grammy an' Grampy, why doesn't we surprise Momma tonight? So we all everbody eated our supper all mannerish, then when Momma were cleanin' off the table an' she axed us for to help her... we started to pokin'! Betsy poked her with her spoon, I poked her with a fork, Grammy nailed her with a pot lid, (which, that beed more of a slug astead of a poke), an' then Grampy slapped her butts. Momma didn't got the clue what were goin' on what so all. She beed screamin', stop yous idiots! Is yous all goed crazy? An' we was all yellin', POKE-YER-MOM! POKE-YER-MOM! But guess what? We was all havin' so much fun pokin' her what we forgotted to go. Now not none a us is gonna be the loud to go nowheres for a good long time. That bees what Momma tole us. So, if you's gonna play POKE-YER-MOM.... for the love a Pete, don't not forget to giddy-up an' go!

At Sunday School today, Mrs. Pearson beed teachin' us childrens alls 'bout  sharin', an' share an' share alike, an' don't not be so greedy acause that bees the seven deadish sin. That beminded me 'bout a story what Grampy tole me 'bout hims cousint Stanley Stanley. Grampy sayed what Stanley Stanley haved a wife called Sharon; 'cept for everbody called her Sharin' Sharon on account a she beed a floozy. Which, I ain't sure what that means, but Grampy sayed, that woman beed looser 'an a turkey's neck, Georgie. My poor cousint beed so bareassed when everbody sayed, oh look, here comes Stanley Stanley an' Sharin' Sharon ever time they goed anywheres. Stanley Stanley finally hadda deevorce Sharin' Sharon acause she keeped on bringin' home crabs, Grampy tole me. Maybe he were vallergic to seafood, I ain't sure. But I tole Mrs. Pearson what that story bees a very good zample 'bout sharin', specially the crab part acause all the Postles beed fishin' men too! Mrs. Pearson jus' sayed, thank you George. I thinks she prawly beed surprised what I knows so much 'bout all the Postles an' stuff.