AUNT BETTY

Ever time my Aunt Betty bees comin' over, Momma says the zact same thing on me. Bemember, Georgie, ya gottsa be polite even know ya doesn't like her kisses. Poor Aunt Betty bees spayed. An' she jus' loves childrens. But today I gotted all braved up an' I tole her, Momma, I doesn't care how much Aunt Betty bees paid for to love childrens; I'm rather chew my leg off astead a kissin' them dribbly dishrag lips a hers ever never again! Momma hadded the strangest face on her look what I never seed afore. So I jus' shutted mine own self up after that.

MONKEY'S UNCLE

Today I were betendin' what Momma's bed beed a frampoline an' I were havin' jumpity fun atill she comed in an' screamed on me. That scared me so bad what I done a flip on accident. But after the screamin' beed over, even Momma sayed, that were a pretty good flip ya done, Georgie! So I tole Grampy 'bout hows I maked such a good flip, and he sayed, zat so? Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! Which, that don't gots nothin' doin' 'bout frampoline flips. Then I thunk, hey, know what? Prawly I must of bees a monkey's cousint! An' then I thunk, uh,oh. Banana breath.

DANCIN' BARE

At Obee Dance School today I gotted to go at the Agility Ability class with the big boys acause Mrs. Barker finally teached me how to sit down. She sayed, now you is gonna learn how to climb this ladder, Georgie! So I jus' putted one foot on the sladder, then the nother one, then the nother one, then the nother one... like that. It beed easy. Mrs. Barker thunk what I were mazin'; but then she goed  an' sayed, you's like a dancin' bear in the circus, George! Which, that maked me fell offa that sladder, an' the sladder felled over, too. I tole  Mrs. Barker, I ain't dancin' bare-naked for nobody; even know I loves the circus. My poor Momma gonna has fifty tits when she hears 'bout this. Prawly she gonnas wanna take me at figured skatin' school astead.

POOR EDNA

I beed bawlin' my eyes off afore Sunday School this mornin' acause I seed my Momma slappin' a big bare-naked baby alls aroun' the kitchen. Which, that never minded me so much atill she sayed, I's jus' gonna dress Edna an' stick 'er in the oven, George. Now you go get dressed! THAT were when I bawled. And that bees how come I dressed me all spectacular; so maybe Momma prawly don't wanna stick me in the oven an' wreck my handsome clothes all to heck an' gone. Mrs Pearson tole us, today bees Thanksgivening, childrens. Then she axed us, what is you thanksful for? I tole everbody what I thanks on God what Edna gotted dressed first today; so Momma ain't gonna cook me to deaf in the oven.