Today Uncle Vern an' Aunt Spot taked all a us kids at the beach, an' I seed the most beautifullest girl what have ever beed borned. Everbody's eyes was sticked on her an' her green bikini. Even Aunt Spot sayed, I wishes what I looks like that in a bikini. Then Uncle Vern sayed, me too! I thunk that beed weird, what Uncle Vern gonna wanna wear a green bikini. But next I knowed, Aunt Spot were screamin', an' Uncle Vern beed runnin'; then Uncle Vern were screamin', STOP, SPOT! I CAN'T NOT SWIM I CAN'T NOT SWIM! Momma sayed, I heared what you seed quite a display at the beach today, Georgie. I tole her, oh, no, Momma, weren't nobody playin' what so all. Uncle Vern pretty near drownded. The she sayed, oh, George, you bees so funny! Which, I weren't not even tryin'. Ha!

Clive comed over today an' he teached me a new trick what everbody bees doin' called Shelfies. It bees a easy trick; all's ya does is, ya gits yous Momma's camera, an' then ya takes pictures a yous own self. That bees it! I thunk my pictures beed very good, but when Momma seed 'em, she sayed, Georgie, what did you did? Momma's camera ain't not a toy, young man. Then she gived me a coconut bikini an' tole me, go put this on an' let Momma take some GOOD pictures. Well, I were so mad on her, I tole her, hows 'bout you put that thing on yous self an' make a shelfie; acause I ain't doin' it. So she done it. I don't never wanna see nothin' like that again. I'm rather boil my eyeballs an' make George-Eye soup! Don't worry, know. I beleted 'em. So now everbody gits a see my shelfies!

At Sunday School today we was singin' 'bout Jesus lovin' me this I knows; an' I hadda stood beside a Mary Ellen Bloody Hound. Which, that beed awful, acause she were soundin' like Grampy blowin' hims nose. So I jus' singed louder 'n louder for to make sure what Jesus gonna hear me. Then Mrs. Pearson axed me does I thinks what Jesus wanna got yelled at like that? I sayed, no, M'am; but prawly He don't wanna hear Mary Ellen honkin' like that, neither. So we both of us hadda whisper-sing after that. An' guess what? I heared Jesus say, thanks you, George. Right inside a my ear! That song must of  bees right. Jesus do loves me! Not so much Mary Ellen, though. He tole me that, too.