Ever sometime I likes a betend what I is a English Bulldog what's called George; an' I talks with a accent, like, Riff Riff. Which, I beed doin' that today when I taked Momma for her walk. We stopped for a sec so's a ole lady can pet Momma, an' I sayed, boys oh boys, I'm jus' love a mug a spotted tea right now! Acause Clive telled me what them Englishies loves theys spotted tea. The ole lady laughed like Cap'n Crunch, har, har, har, an' sayed, ain't you a cutie...(little English Bulldog, she were prawly thinkin'.) But Momma weren't so hardy-har what so all. Why is you talkin' so stupid, George, she axed me. I don't not unnerstans what yous sayin', Momma, on account a I is English, I tole her. She sayed, oh, for cripe sakes, take me home now! I guess I must of walked her right out today.

Betsy tole me what I looks like a big green idiot today, but I sayed, no I doesn't. I looks like a fat green leper. A case ya prawly doesn't knows; tomorrow bees Saint Fatty's Day I tole her. I is dressin' up like a leper today for to bemind Momma what she oughta hurry on up to the Big Girl Shop an' git herself some green gitup afore all the nother fatties buys everthin' up like last year. Saint Fatty bees the Pre-tend saint a fatties, an' ever year they's apposed of dress all green an' drink beer for to say, thanks, Saint Fatty! Betsy goed, O-M-G George! (Which, that ain't even how ya spells my name.) It bees Saint Paterix Day; an' you is apposed of be a Leprechaun. I never sayed nothin'. I thunk, no sense tryin' for to splain it all over again. Like Grampy all a time says, sometime ya jus can't not fix stupid!