Me an' Momma hadded a little argue this mornin' 'bout  how come I hadda stay home from Sunday School acause I beed so too busy fightin' crimes. Finally she sayed, well fine then, George. You can wear yous silly super coat; but I better not dare hear 'bout no shenanigans. Which, I ain't gonna be shenanigatin' when I's on duty. Everthin' prawly woulda beed all right, too, 'cept for that big mouth Scabby Doyle hadda gone an' been his big mouth ole self. He telled all a girls what I were lookin' at theys undiewears with my x-ray eyeballs. So a course they all goed cryin' at Mrs. Pearson; an' then Mrs. Pearson sayed, George! That bees quite the nuff a yous shenanigans! That were zactly how come Momma been gettin' mad on me the head a time! My Momma must of bees superish like me! So, I's prawly gonna git in super trouble now; an' I didn't even git to did a single shootin' gootin' shenan.

We gots a new girl at Obee Dance School whats name bees Bella; an' Mrs. Barker sayed what everbody oughta make her comferble. So I sayed, hi Bella, I is George. An' then I sayed, how's 'bout a little kiss? Acause she bees the beautifullest poodle of a girl I has ever seed. Bella tole me, George, I'm rather pour boiling oil in my ears. So I axed her, well, how's 'bout after yous done with the oil? An' she sayed, then, I'm rather stick pins in my eyes. Well, when yous done with yous eyes an' yous ears, ya wanna gimme a little kiss then? I'm rather git eated up alls over by a gazillion giant fleas atill all my shiny curls falls off, she tole me. Well, then my magination gotted in my eyes an' alls I was seein' were this scabby red eye droopy ear girl an' I thunk what she bees way too ugly for kissin'on; so I jus' goed away. I's prawly never gonna unnerstan them girls. That Bella bees pretty-lookin' jus' the way she bees. She don't needs to be doin' all that fixin' up for to git prettier. Jus' bees too much pretty-fixin', I say.

So I taked Momma for her walk today an' we beed havin' a nice ole time sniffin' out all a news 'bout who has beed where in the neighbours hood. All a trees was screamin' up my nose, pee on meeee! No, pee on meeee, each the nother one sayed. An' that beed all fine as dandy atill we gotted 'bout half the quarter ways home; then Momma gotted to tuggin' on her leash to beat the band. C'mon, George, hurry up! C'mon, George. I gived her my eyeballs what says, I's a little busy right now; an' then she pretty near breaked  my hang dang neck. C'MON GEORGE I HAS TO PEE! Well, what the carnation, I thunk. We prawly has jus' goed passed fifty or a hundred trees. But a course, my Momma gottsa go home an' pee in the fountain. Which, that have maked my incision. I quits! From now on, I's jus' takin' my own self out walkin'. Leave Momma at home. I's gonna hafta git her some big girl diapers astead. Yup. Big fat girl diapers.