Momma gotted a new church dress what makes her look like a sausage an' walk like a worm with two little feets stickin' outta the end. She axed me, do I looks pretty, George? An' I tole her ya; acause her face were lookin' okay I guess. Now I gots a bemember for to make a pray to God 'bout sorry I telled a lie when I gets to Sunday School. God prawlys gonna say, that bees okay Georgie, I woulda telled her she beed pretty too. Don't nobody wanna git my Momma mad first thing on the mornin'.

 

Today Momma bringed me her leash for to git a bit a fresh airs, an' when I had her all did up, she sayed, okay, ready Freddie? Well, I thunk, who do this Freddie fella bees? So I spunned aroun' for to took a look on him; but Momma beed right in the wrong spot. She felled asshole of the teakettle over top a Betsy. An' then they both was screamin' acause Betsy breaked a nail, an' Momma chipped her tooth. Which, I tole Momma, don't not worry, Momma, ya still bees pretty to me. But inside a my head I figured a least I don't gots to worry 'bout Freddie no more. He prawly ain't gonna wanna be kissin' on my snaggle-tooth Momma now.